remembering nini

These days, I am missing myself a lot. I hav come a long way, in every sense of the word. still remember how i used to talk to nini only and kept all my longings to myself. i remember the girl who used to stand on the far corner of the big play ground, staring into nowhere and thinking of lots of things. It wasn't that boring too. dont like to remember the first two years in college much. it was nice and div and i had fun. but i was beginning to change and then priya came. graduation was a revelation. and then i had him in my life and the change was complete. how i have changed now? maybe press club days did a lot to it. i opened up to the world outside, wasn't that glad but still became receptive to new ideas. after so many years, now that i hav been working for four years, i hav lost a lot of myself. my inner calm. my resolutions. my loving nature. i hav lost it somewhere along the way. these days i miss it a lot...... yesterday i was telling praji about the good effects of blogging. i actually prescribed it to him for his mental recuperation. i think it works. it must work if you only meet the right people. and if you really pour it out...praji i am out on a search.......to recapture my old self in atleast small doses.........n writing is helping me a lot......that odd moment when i decided to create my blog.....i am grateful to that moment..... yesterday when i read dumbkoel and listened to riya vijayan rendering dona's poem.....i was living that moment.........there are new things to discover....nothing is completely lost for ever.........now i understand........