why bombs? why not life?

All these hoax calls and bomb threats have forced me to think about things that I had stopped thinking long back. Because i was having too many nightmares. and i did nt want to lose sleep over some people that i didnt even know. but they have all come back now. i am thinking of them again. how do people in iraq live? in israel or palestine live? how do they live fearlessly in pakistan or for that matter afghanistan? what was the psychology of Americans after 9/11 is now understandable.
u know, fear is the biggest weapon with which you can demoralise a society. u can bring them down on their knees. thats what terrorists do. they are the best pshycologists.
today i met a film maker from israel. he has taken bombs and wars in his stride, it seemed to me. his name is dan wolman, a doyen of israeli cinema. he told me, ``i take life as it is. i could be creative in between all this. which is more important,.''
i wondered how?? i asked him of the younger generation there and he told me they have seen more peace than him. true!
but israel is fast changing he said. his home town is jerusalem. what a place. to be born in the land of jesus and to be living in fear. pity. but they dont pity themselves. atleast dan dont. he is full of energy and vigour. war has not taken anything from him.
what happens if finally a bomb explodes here? maybe keralites would be more humble then. they would think about other people living in distant globes who see this on a daily basis and be more thankful. maybe they will shed their arrogance and maybe they will start living....

dan told me he is hopeful for a younger generation of Israelis. somethings are happening which is bad and wrong...but i am hopeful..peace may come..is what he said.
and i was suddenly thinking about people who lament that bombs destroy everything. sometimes they build much more..............

Paulo's Brida

Alchemist had been a rejuvenator. Veronica was a disaster, though. And Brida was a pleasant surprise with an abrupt end to it. After a long time, i finished reading a book in two days. Brida is coehlo still at his spiritual best. but it touches a woman somewhere. maybe becoz it's the tale of a woman. some questions that brida asked were really something i had asked myself over and over again. but then some takes the plunge and some not. believing in something, going after it and securing it without much compromises, it's called luck. Brida was lucky and that's the best part that excites us. It assures us that maybe if we go after something with that dedication, we are not going to miss it! then there's this Tradition of Moon, which recognises love on seeing the light in your partner's eyes. So funny! So, it's been like that since the world came into being or Moon came our way! lesson no 2. should have posted this in coehlo's blog. but for now........paulo....u are on a quest that will relieve me of very many questions........go on.........do it for us.....

remembering nini

These days, I am missing myself a lot. I hav come a long way, in every sense of the word. still remember how i used to talk to nini only and kept all my longings to myself. i remember the girl who used to stand on the far corner of the big play ground, staring into nowhere and thinking of lots of things. It wasn't that boring too. dont like to remember the first two years in college much. it was nice and div and i had fun. but i was beginning to change and then priya came. graduation was a revelation. and then i had him in my life and the change was complete. how i have changed now? maybe press club days did a lot to it. i opened up to the world outside, wasn't that glad but still became receptive to new ideas. after so many years, now that i hav been working for four years, i hav lost a lot of myself. my inner calm. my resolutions. my loving nature. i hav lost it somewhere along the way. these days i miss it a lot...... yesterday i was telling praji about the good effects of blogging. i actually prescribed it to him for his mental recuperation. i think it works. it must work if you only meet the right people. and if you really pour it out...praji i am out on a search.......to recapture my old self in atleast small doses.........n writing is helping me a lot......that odd moment when i decided to create my blog.....i am grateful to that moment..... yesterday when i read dumbkoel and listened to riya vijayan rendering dona's poem.....i was living that moment.........there are new things to discover....nothing is completely lost for ever.........now i understand........

2008 musings

its been nice until now. only months back, i thought uncertainity will kill me. then everything had turned out well suddenly. now i am married, looking at 2008 with hope and renewed thoughts. At work, its a mixed feeling. sometimes it feels great that i am managing both home and work well. sometimes i am really not satisfied with the way i work. ``Damn it'', i shout at myself. i decide to resign every night (most nights) and get ok by morning. i understand that its the job that keeps me ok. managing hubbies are equal to managing kids, isn't it? atleast that's what my two months are all about. i am well prepared to be a mother , after playing one for my hubby most of the time. well, its a part of life, i suppose. but do all hubbies come in packages of kids??? it's a sort of negative vibes that capture me attimes. what follows is a desperate attempt to get rid of it. suddenly i am reminded of something that my colleague told me today. to write useful posts in the blog so that he can publish it in the papers. And i was caught thinking, is that blogs are all about? well guys, i intend to keep it personal. too personal. i had quit diary writing some months bak. simply becoz i did nt have a pen. when i finally found one for my diary, i didnt wanted to.... dont know why,, its toooo much personal, i suppose. 2008 musings shall continue, for only the half has been through. there's the rest......