It's now almost two years since we met, the three of us. Priya, Suni and me. Our friendship had started in our last years in school. It had continued tru our college days and then all of a sudden, we had to choose different lives. They both got married in a gap of one month and I was left searching for myself.
Priya and I have shared a special relationship. Suni has always been the philosopher, who did nothing wrong and who was the perfect doll. But we both were humans, always upto something, and most of the time, something nasty. We shared experiences which looking back are funny, others poignant.
Years after her marriage, one day I suddenly realised that I have never told her what she means to me. I havent hugged her, told her I miss her or said thanks for all that small, big and thoughtful deeds. On the eve of her wedding, I had cried my heart out in front of the mirrir. When she left the next day to her husband's house, the hollowness I felt that shadowed my life never really left me. She didnt knew. She asked me why I hadnt called her the next day.
I told myself why, but she never heard. Or maybe she did!
Even now, I have not grown out of her friendship. She is a mother of two. Sometimes I feel that motherly warmth from her when she scolds me for what I do with my life. We don't call for days, when we do, we do it on the right time, when both of us would have wished for nothing else. I sent her cards, I pray fr her kids, I am happy with her life but we never tell each other how `hugely present' we are in each others' life. But it can wait!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
August Thoughts!
August always brings memories of solitude-days spend crying in bed with the sheet drawn over the head and stuffed inside the mouth to prevent cries from being aloud.
It was 2000, the millenium year and hopes were high. With the birth of it, I knew the year would bring numerous surprises for me. Only last year he had entered my life. So things were in for changes, i assured myself.
I never really bothered about those umpteen phone calls I made until it proved fatal. Technology betrays! The long list was out and his name surfaced. There was no way but to agree . Afterall, there was no denying him.
Began the days of solitude in the month of August, in a distant land away from home. Away from him. It was suicidal (or was it the summer heat?)
Threats, promises, tears, and the home-coming finally!
Sure, things did change. And love became immortal!!!
It was 2000, the millenium year and hopes were high. With the birth of it, I knew the year would bring numerous surprises for me. Only last year he had entered my life. So things were in for changes, i assured myself.
I never really bothered about those umpteen phone calls I made until it proved fatal. Technology betrays! The long list was out and his name surfaced. There was no way but to agree . Afterall, there was no denying him.
Began the days of solitude in the month of August, in a distant land away from home. Away from him. It was suicidal (or was it the summer heat?)
Threats, promises, tears, and the home-coming finally!
Sure, things did change. And love became immortal!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
remembering a snake-charmer!
It all began with my fear for that crawling reptile. they called it the snake. And I? the small dragon with deathly powers!
And one day I met Gopal. He teased me with his mesmerising friendship with the little dragons. For they were all around him and he was their care-taker. The guys called him the technical assistant though! what is so technical about taking a snake in your hands, knowing where it will lash next and judging their dumb looks(he told me snakes are both deaf and dumb)?
i was on an assignment i had burdened myself with. It made little sense to others and all the more mysterious to myself (when did i last pronounce `snake').
he narrated to me all those creepy stories about the little dragons. They are visually alert. they lash at those things that move (before their eyes!yaar). And how long did i stand still in that room of cages, snake cages to be precise?
Gopal knew much more about snakes, than what i knew about my enemies(those creepy ones only). It wasn't the text books, it was years of friendship with them that taught him all that. They have bitten him, once or twice, he told me. the pain is no longer there , even in his wildest memories, he added. just the scars.
those photos which we took, he and his creepy friends-it haunted me.
Nearly two months passed before I heard of Gopal again. Though his office was nearer to my home. (and I always remembered the creepy ones when i took the curvy bend near his office in my auto every night)
he again mesmerised me. he had been dead for one month and those little dragons still live on. they said he had ended life after a bitter fight with his wife. does anybody care? But gopal n suicide? he who loved the venom in the dragons as much as their innocence(he always told me humans are more venomous)
that night, i forgot the creepy ones. When my auto took the curvy bend, gopal smiled, ``these snakes simply charm you. try to remove your fear.'' he said. Death is more charming, though!!!
And one day I met Gopal. He teased me with his mesmerising friendship with the little dragons. For they were all around him and he was their care-taker. The guys called him the technical assistant though! what is so technical about taking a snake in your hands, knowing where it will lash next and judging their dumb looks(he told me snakes are both deaf and dumb)?
i was on an assignment i had burdened myself with. It made little sense to others and all the more mysterious to myself (when did i last pronounce `snake').
he narrated to me all those creepy stories about the little dragons. They are visually alert. they lash at those things that move (before their eyes!yaar). And how long did i stand still in that room of cages, snake cages to be precise?
Gopal knew much more about snakes, than what i knew about my enemies(those creepy ones only). It wasn't the text books, it was years of friendship with them that taught him all that. They have bitten him, once or twice, he told me. the pain is no longer there , even in his wildest memories, he added. just the scars.
those photos which we took, he and his creepy friends-it haunted me.
Nearly two months passed before I heard of Gopal again. Though his office was nearer to my home. (and I always remembered the creepy ones when i took the curvy bend near his office in my auto every night)
he again mesmerised me. he had been dead for one month and those little dragons still live on. they said he had ended life after a bitter fight with his wife. does anybody care? But gopal n suicide? he who loved the venom in the dragons as much as their innocence(he always told me humans are more venomous)
that night, i forgot the creepy ones. When my auto took the curvy bend, gopal smiled, ``these snakes simply charm you. try to remove your fear.'' he said. Death is more charming, though!!!
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